Heres Who I'm Sick Of

5. Fake Steve Jobs. Dude, no one has even heard of the real Steve Jobs. Thanks for your offer to help - real mature.

4. Donald Trump. Step into my office, Cuz your fuckin fired!!! Thanks for the practical advice. You said I should get new parents??? So really what you're telling me to do is invent a time machine, go back before I was born, solve the mystery of life and choose to be born in a different family. I'll get right on it. I've got enough stuff to do and in case you didn't know - I'm kind of a big deal.

3. Paris Hilton. Before you came along celebrities didn't go to jail. OJ, Michael Jackson, that basketball player who shot his limo driver. We had a great thing going, how did you mess it up. You're the Jackie Robinson of celebrity jail.

3. Paparazzi. Honestly, I don't mind getting my picture taken, but where the fuck did you get those cameras, 1983? You guys walk around with cameras the size of koala bears. I'm guessing that you're trying to build up your biceps in preparation an audition as an extra on CSI. Seriously if I started selling flash powder I'd be the richest girl in California.

1. Police. Seriously you guys are the biggest turds ever. To be a celebrity you have to do crazy things. No one ever got famous for following the rules. The difference is in the old days the cops were cool and let things slide. What, you think Jim Morrison or Kieth Richards never drove drunk with some booger sugar in their pocket. Of course they did.

When they got pulled over the cops just asked for an autograph and said be careful. Now it's front fuckin page news every time I pass a homeless man without giving him a dollar. Get a fucking life!