Being the World's Biggest Star

Hey guys - sorry I couldn't post yesterday there was no news about me to comment on. Which brings me to a huge admission that I'm about to make.

I'm addicted and I finally can admit it. I'm addicted to being in the news and I NEED it EVERY DAY. A day like yesterday where the sun rises and sets and I don't get the cover of a magazine or written about on Perez Hilton absolutely drives me nuts.

Since I'm in rehab and they won't let me do drugs or have fun, I'm going to use the time positively. I'm going to make sure that in the future no day goes by without me making the news. I'm compiling a list of tactics to make sure that I m never ignored again.

If you want to email your suggestions, that's fine, but I don't really listen to normal boring people. I'm not ready to share the list, but I can tell you that it starts with "Hook up with Michael Jackson."

Do you think that will get me in the news?