Not All Fun and Games

Most sober people think that rehab would be a walk in the park, but it isn't. Sure I guess all you have to do is go for 30 days without drugs or alcohol, but there is so much more. Think of all the fun you have to miss.

For instance, yesterday I missed hanging out with Jenna Jamison and Paris - watch the video on TMZ. I mean you can tell they are acting weird and look how much they miss me. They are so nice to the paparazzi, why?

I would have come rolling out of that club and crashed into one or two of the photographers. Then as they are holding me up I would have started swearing and spitting. I mean that's just how its done. You have to let them snap a few pictures with your eyes half open.

Look at how calmly they walk to their cars. That is supposed to be an all out drunken sprint with at least 2 falls. You could tell they were really wasted though because they got in the back seat. Good Luck not getting pulled over when you are driving from way back there.

Worst of all - Jenna, your wearing underwear.

I feel like I don't even know you anymore.