They are Finally Divorced

Thank God.

Believe it or not, when you Google my name a story about my parents getting a divorce came up on the first page. Talk about leeching of your kid. When people search for Lindsay Lohan they want me, the actual me. Not some old wrinkled version, or the coked out guy version of me. If they wanted to see that the would search for Lindsay Lohans parents.

So now that the divorce is final it should stop becoming news. There are so many people that I would like to thank.

1. Nancy Meyers (director of the Parent Trap) without the money that I made off this movie my father may have just gone to jail for securities fraud and he may never have gotten his coke addiction.

2. Dr. Sanjay Fisher (My mother's plastic surgeon) could she honestly be hooking up with so many other men with a 45 year old's tits?

3. My younger sister Allie - you think I'm a spoiled brat.

4. ...and finally the mainstream media. For spending so much time covering me instead of the wars going on and the erosion of our civil liberties. I mean if my parents problems were no blown out of proportion everyday on TV they may have actually worked it out or separated quietly. Both of those options would be completely horrible for my career,